மின் அஞ்சலில் அவ்வப்போது கீழே தந்திருப்பது போல் படித்தால் சிரிக்கவைக்கும் -ஆனால் நிஜத்தில் ’கலங்கடிக்கும்’- விஷயங்கள் வரும்...
Given below are few hints for survival for those who dare to drive on Indian roads.They are
applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer. Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the rest to your destiny.
1. Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess.
2. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended direction. Soon you will know why Indians believe in reincarnation.
3. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.
4. Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience (for those with the mental makeup of Genghis Khan). in a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record.
Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and the peg of illicit arrack he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a nought. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill.
Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motor-bike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously.
5. Occasionally you might see what looks like an UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.
applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer. Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the rest to your destiny.
1. Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess.
2. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended direction. Soon you will know why Indians believe in reincarnation.
3. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.
4. Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience (for those with the mental makeup of Genghis Khan). in a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record.
Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and the peg of illicit arrack he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a nought. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill.
Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motor-bike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously.
5. Occasionally you might see what looks like an UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.
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Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi) –
After careful geometric calculations, school children are folded and packed into these auto
rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion en route to school.
Mopeds - The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed.
Leaning Tower of Passengers - There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings, and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension.
One-Way Street - Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type.
Lest I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy
identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.
After careful geometric calculations, school children are folded and packed into these auto
rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion en route to school.
Mopeds - The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed.
Leaning Tower of Passengers - There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings, and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension.
One-Way Street - Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type.
Lest I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy
identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.
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